I want a Graphics Tablet

I want a Graphics Tablet!

I wanna do line art of my drawings in photoshop.

I wanna do color my drawings in photoshop.

I wanna be out of this world... be in to my mind of craziness...

LOL...

I have to save money for me to buy that thingy.

I hope dad could buy me one....

OR...

They would just give it to me as a birthday gift.... ? :p

LOL...

Nong Poy - My New Inspiration

I was in a deep depressed state these past few days until my classmate sent me a link to a slideshow entitled "The Most Beautiful Man in the World" and so I checked it out. And it was about a guy who went a sex change who is now known as Nong Poy (Treechada Marnyaporn, her real name).

I checked her videos on youtube and her images on google and I am so fascinated on what I saw there. She is so beautiful like a real woman. She is more feminine than me and that's why I'm so amazed.

Because of her, it came into my thought of making myself more feminine like her. Keeping my room (rather my bed and stuff) arranged, wearing simple clothes which really suits me, talking so sweet, keeping myself in a calm mood and many more.

Nong Poy made me realize more that I should love myself. To be simple and appreciate things that I have. Then now, I'm always in a good mood and not being so much disturbed to some factors to make myself feel so down.

Although Nong Poy is not biologically born female, I still consider her as a true example of femininity.

What Should I Prioritize?

I'm pretty in the bug these days. I'm always bothered of what things should I do for the mean time. I always have plenty of things to do. I need to do this, I need to do that. Yet... This is giving me a hard time. I don't even enjoy things anymore since that I was bothered of those things to do. So for me to enjoy things again, I just need to choose what things to prioritize. With this prioritization, I must apply self-discipline to do things which are really important and be not bothered by things which ruin the focus of doing the certain thing.

Feeling Empty

It's supposed to be aHappy Valentine's Day. But somehow after I wake up, I'm feeling so empty. Really empty. But I don't know what makes me feel like this. I'm wondering if myself being a grouchy girl lending a factor with this. I don't know.

I hope today, someone will give me a cheer to have a Happy Valentine's Day.

I Slam Dunked!

I failed! Epic fail! I made a slam dunk... On the floor. LOL!

I was walking home eating my steamed beef then I heard the phone ringing. So I hasted then after entering the kitchen, I slipped and fall on the ground. That was an epic pain and epic fail.

A Day to Work for Web Site Designing

Today, I'm just staying at home to make developments on web site designing for RF Legends. Right now. I'm working with the flash header navigation bar for the website. Since that I'm still lacking of knowledge of about flash, I'm watching and reading flash online video tutorials to get things what I need to know. I already created the image layout in Photoshop, what I need now is to apply some functions for the navigation buttons to work.

I actually kinda feel lazy and apparently losing my focus while doing this. I need pastries or cold sweet drink for me keep on going.

I hope I could make drastic developments for today.

I'm Missing It

At this moment, I'm urging to do again plenty of things. Things like anime sketching, karate, watching anime and painting.

Earlier, I looked on to the sky. I again felt the beauty of life. I told myself "just like that plane, I will soar high. I will reach my goals with flying colors." I realized that it is better to be at home than to work. I wanna watch anime, I wanna listen to music, I wanna play the piano, I wanna play flute, I do karate, I wanna be a black belter. I wanna sing with all my heart, I wanna nurture plants, I wanna spend time with pets, I wanna draw and paint, I wanna learn more about web development, photoshop, flash and more. I wanna be a polygot and much more to mention.

I have plenty of dreams that are being deluded by my negative emotions. I gave up, I lost it all. Now, I'm wanting it back. I'm now doing my best to do those again,which will again resemble my true character. I'm gonna bring back the self-esteem that I lost and I will be on track again.

I missed being me. Now... I'm regenerating again. I'm awakening my chara.