Message from the Shadow (Poem)

I grew up in silence.

Emotions were never been much shown.

Everything was kept along within the shadows

Where only myself could know.

Happiness was never shared.

But only to myself who were always within reach.

Sadness was never shared

Because I grew up living distant to others.

I watch time passes by,

But only with myself who were always within reach.

Because before was imprinted to my mind,

Others were can never be trusted.

Such ideology ruined the childhood.

Now looking for things I should already have beforehand.

The centrepiece of my life had become an introverted path.

It is being struggled to be changed.

My only wish is to be happy.

I don't want to waste every second engaged to sadness.

Changing myself is determined.

Bringing my old happy self is pushed.

If only I could reset time,

I will think and do what are in bliss.

Things that are good and happy,

The challenge that I accept.

How I wish I could enjoy,

Every good moments with everyone in my life.

Not thinking the pain 

In which I was mostly devoured before.

An emotional pain lurked in me.

That pain that reaped my life

Which now I can't show the best side,

Today is hiding in the shadows of silence.

Nobody can understand the pain

That I very eager to treat.

All I need now to forget the pain.

Accept everything and only remember everything is good.

I want show to everybody myself that was never seen.

My eyes that sees good,

My lips that speaks kindness.

I want everybody to feel the good that is within me.

I now will not be afraid to show the good that is in me.

I will let everybody feel being with me is a time not wasted.

I will never look on bad.

I will never speak of rudeness.

Everything will be changed.

I will enter to the new pace.

Everything will be in beautiful,

Including the beauty of myself which I never seen then.

I will say goodbye to the face darkness.

Myself will fade away from the shadows of darkness.

I will embark to see my whole new self,

Blissful and thankful.

I am now fading away, my old self.

I am setting you free to be cleansed awhole.

I am now making place to the new self.

Good bye to you, good bye.

Chow-Ling: Mongolian Stir Fry Experience

Last Sunday, me and my mom went strolling to iMall, which is a new mall at Calamba, Laguna. I can't really say if it is a mall since it is not that big as SM's nor Robinson Mall's. Anyways, I was supposed to buy microSDs for my gadgets but plans changed. Instead, I got hungry. Then we found this food stall at iMall's food court, Chow-Ling to be called.

Basing on its food stall name, it is a Mongolian stir fry dish. It is like Chowking's Chow Fan but, for me, this one more delicious. They have four flavors to serve. I chose there with the pork one. I forgot what it is called, actually.

Stall crew serve this fresh from cooking equipment. I didn't happen to finish my food at the area since it is so hot. So I just packed it home. 

I can still remember its tastiness. 

I Found Love Again

It's been months ago since I last had being in a relationship. It started beautifully but it ended painfully. The love that I was fighting for was not being fought with the one who I should have fighting with. I felt broken, used and sad. Hatred filled my heart. I forgot the true feeling of love.

I put most of my time to be very busy. I involve myself into different activities; cosplay, singing, studying sort of things, graphic designing and other stuffs just to forget the messed up feeling that I have that time. I got myself a part-time job as a digital inker and a full-time job as Software Engineer afterwards. I took my training and got regularized on my job.

I did, almost, forget the bitterness that I had from my previous relationship. I enjoyed the days of learning something new, earning good income and having a good social life. I was very happy, but something is still lacking.

In those days, I didn’t expect something will happen that will make my life very blissful again. I didn’t expect that someone will bring love back into my life.

He thought me to see new things beautifully, to feel things preciously, to experience things memorably and to live life with love that dazzles beautifully. He promised me that he will bring back the love that lost and will make me truly happy again. I never expected that I’m going to really experience those things. I never expected that he will actually do it for me. He made so much effort and sacrifices for me, just to make me truly happy again. He spent months on making me smile, comforting me from tears, and giving me precious moments on his courtship with me.

Now, I do feel very special. Special, in which I can’t explain in simple words. Special, that is somehow complicated to show how happy I am. I really never felt this way for a long time.

I am very thankful to God for hearing my prayer to be truly happy again. He awakened my heart from its long time sleep. I am so happy that I met him. Now, I’m just waiting for time to truly put love back into my life. 

Some Random Thoughts

I'm about to end my OJT by next week. After that, I'm now ready for the real work. But, heart is still not ready for it. My heart feels like to finish some stuffs before going to the actual working life. Oh... I can't tell the chances. I'll accept what will come to me. I'm just hoping that I could finish my goals on time.

Resident Evil 4: After Life Review

Another sequel of Resident Evil has been in cinemas todays. Well, since I'm a scaredy cat of any versions of Resident Evil, games or movies, it still gave me frights. Cool sound effects, realistic props and visual effects. Also the common thing to me, I'm still scared of zombies. 

Resident Evil 4: After Life still features Alice (played by Milla Jovovich) as the heroine of this movie. But the thing here is she lost her extraordinary skills, which is given by the T-Virus injected into her body at Resident Evil 1 movie, after Wesner injected a T-Virus infiltrator to her. Well, after that day, she just fought without her extraordinary abilities. Well, despite of that, she still struggled searching for survivors and solution to that bio-terrorism. 

There some are lame scenes there especially on that new character, Luther West, who put lights on a floor, on where they are sheltering, in which he is likely near to those hungry undead monsters. For me it's so unlikely to be in that area where you could be attacked by those creatures. And there's an idea came up in my head. Did Umbrella Corporation ever mind of human becoming extinct of what they are doing and will lose its existence? This an example of a selfish wants of people which can be somehow related to some real life situations like political stories.

Well, I feel so sick while writing (rather typing) this blog. For you guys to know, I'm scared of Resident Evil. But I'm still watching it... I'm just curious. I'm afraid of zombies. And right now, I can't avoid thinking of it and it might make me not to have a good night rest for tonight. I wish I could have a sweet dreams.

US Storage_Rd 2

Nowadays, there are people are who are having problems about their storage. Some are confused on what to do about their stuffs because those are valuable or might useful in the future use. That problem is mostly applies on certain companies who has a lot of files to be kept but getting hesitations because of limited space that they have.

I was browsing the internet and I found some articles advertising about the US Storage_Rd 2. So I made some research about this stuff.

From http://santhree.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/us-storage_rd-2, US Storage_Rd 2 is being indirectly defined as a storage providing business by providing month-to-month storage leasing for keeping files, documents and anything needs to be kept with reliable security. A storage system that provides reserved self-storage and mobile storage for file storing needs.

Self-storage and mobile storage to be defined(http://www.usstoragesearch.com/mobile-storage/need-mobile-or-self-storage.aspx):

Self Storage: Self storage facilities offer storage units available for rent. Storage units range in size typically from a 5x5 to a 10x30 or maybe even larger. Most often storage units are rented on a month to month basis by homeowners, businesses, college students, military personnel, etc. When renting from a self storage facility, you must take your belongings to the facility, unload them in your storage unit, and provide your own lock for the door. You are the only person that has access to your belongings. Typically storage facilities have many additional security features including computer controlled access onto the premises and security cameras.
Mobile Storage: Mobile storage, also called portable storage, offers a convenient alternative to traditional self storage. It is often used in times of moving or remodeling. With mobile storage a mobile or portable storage container is delivered right to your home or place of business. You then fill the container at your convenience. Once the container is full, you can either store it at your home or office or call the company to come and pick it up. If you choose to have them pick it up they will store the container at their warehouse. When you are ready to unload the container you simply call the company and they will deliver your container right to your door again. If you are using mobile storage during a move, they will actually deliver your container to your new place of residence whether down the street or across the country.

From http://mybrainbusiness.blogspot.com/2010/04/us-storagerd-2_24.html, it is some sort of a business that provide solutions on people with storage trouble by providing rentals getting certain area to keep their files, which maybe called as the rental place. All types of storage of valuables files can be applied; such as important letters, company procedures, diplomas, certificates and others.

US Storage_Rd 2 would be an essential to those longing for greater storage space without spending money and time for building your own storage facility. This kind of storage system is very advantageous for emergency storage needs. With storage security and best price, the storage solution would be a satisfaction.

A site named USstoragesearch.com (http://www.usstoragesearch.com) provides search for US Storage_Rd 2 in anywhere in United States. Just by entering the required information on the quick search engine, the desired storage company can be found easily.

This innovation is a great advantage that would benefit most people for keeping their valuables in a safe and good manner.

Feeling Sick After Ozine Fest 2010

Ozine Fest 2010 was so fun! I screamed, shout, ate a lot of chocolate, catwalked, took pictured, played at the Matsuri area, cosplayed and many more... After the fun and the excitement, right now, I don't feel well. I lost so much energy in enjoying the fest. But it's ok, once an old lady in Megamall told me that I should enjoy things like this once in a while or I'll regret things forever.

I'll be writing my Ozine Fest 2010 journal once I got better... *cough cough*

Excited for the Ozine Fest '10

woot! woot!

I'm so excited for the Ozine Fest '10 tomorrow...

I just finished preparing my cosplay stuffs. Next I'll be practicing three songs for the anime karaoke contest (I hope I could win the contest.... *praypray*). Then I also have to create my pattern for the art contest. Ooh wee... I'm dreadfully excited. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Hope stuffs for event would finished by now then, I'll face the big day (A big for a first timer... LOL ).

I'm Off to Swimming!

My schedules has been wrecked and I'm off to feel the summer beat! and beat the summer heat! yada yada

SWIMMING... HERE I COME! yada yada

Yehey! It's vacation!

Yehey! It's vacation time! No more school worries! I can now enjoy the day! yahoo!

A Day of Disappointment

I feel ashamed... I feel frustrated... I feel dismayed...

1.) I went to my doctor for my follow-up for my wound stitches to be removed. Way back on my last operation day, my doctor told me and my mom that we don't need to get and pass another LOA for the appointment with him. But when we got there, on the follow-up check-up, he was asking for that LOA. It was like a slap on the face that time. It's like we are the one who made the mistake even though he was.

2.) After seeing my doctor, me and my mom rode a jeepney heading to the electronic supplies shop. We get off the jeepney and the driver shouted. I wondered and asked my mom... "Did we pay the fare?" Mom said yes, but then asked "Did we?"... Then we just realized that we haven't paid the driver. A shameful thing. But we didn't intend to do that. We just pray for blessings for that driver in replacement the fare that we forgot to pay.

3.) I went to my godfather to seek help on my project. He told me that he needs the components and diagrams for that project and so I went home. But when I return to his shop, he just went home...

*just sharing*

Starting of the Trash to Cosplay Hobby

I'm starting collecting trashed clothes to make them into cosplay costumes... This will help to our mother natures beauty... :)

SaveJapanDolphins.org | Ending dolphin slaughter in Taiji

SaveJapanDolphins.org | Ending dolphin slaughter in Taiji

Please support and spread out the world...

Let's save the nature's beauty, let's save the dolphins!

PLS READ THIS! EVERYONE MUST KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING IN FAROE ISLAND, DENMARK (a repost from FaceBook)

PLS READ THIS! EVERYONE MUST KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING IN FAROE ISLAND, DENMARK (a repost from FaceBook)

::Franz Ryan Mendoza Hilario: PLS READ THIS! EVERYONE MUST KNOW WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING IN FAROE ISLAND, DENMARK::

I GOT THIS FROM A MAIL. I WAS DEVASTATED. :'((

The sea is stained in red and its not because of global warming.

It's because of the cruelty that the human beings to the smart Calderon Dolphins.

This happens every year in Faroe Island in Denmark. In this slaughter, the main participants are young teens. To show that they are adults and they are already mature.

In this big celebration, nothing is missing for the fun. Everyone is participating in one way or the other, killing or looking at the cruelty “supporting like a spectator”

Is it necessary to mention that the Calderon Dolphins, like all the other species of dolphins, in it’s near extinction. They get near men to play and interact. In a way of pure friendship.

They don’t die instantly; they are cut 2 to 3 times with thick hocks. At that time the dolphins produce a sound extremely attuned to the cry of a new born child.

The Dolphins dies slowly soaked in its own blood

We will send this mail until this email arrives in any association defending the animals.

PLEASE HELP ME STOP THIS TERRIFYING AND NONSENSE CRUELTY!!! PLEASE REBLOG.

- FRANZ HILARIO


(for anyone who will read this, especially people from animal rights organizations, please reblog and make some actions regarding this animal cruelty)

SaveJapanDolphins.org | Ending dolphin slaughter in Taiji

Link


Please support and spread out the world...

Let's save the nature's beauty, let's save the dolphins!

2010 April Fool's Day Stuff

1. My deviantART icon change into Edward Cullen animated picture.
I don't know how this happened!


2. I received a deviantART Llama badge from

3. favorited my mr_kram sig [link] and gave a nice compliment for that.

4. invited me to join his group .

5. Today's Maundy Thursday went well despite of my unprepared accompanying songs with keyboard.

Kokoro Flight Project (Part 1)

I started studying Adobe After Effects last Monday. On my first step, I created a video with an animated intro using Lens Flare and the tweakings of the animation settings on the text layer of my AE project file. The video is intergrated with the trance music that I made.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGUeixrPXiA -> link for the video

Then yesterday, I just finished the full version of the Kokoro Flight (Off Vocals). Then also created a video with effects using camera view, particles and animated sound waves of the music that I created.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qFCs8awpWM -> link for the video

Pretty Hectic and Tired

I'm pretty hectic and tired for this week...

First thing, I'm doing my Kokoro Flight project for my sake of my will to learn using After Effects and making my own music. The next target for the Kokoro Flight project the integration of lyrics to the music itself. Then I also need to learn the 3D animation for the MV. Character design and storyline must be drafted and created.

Second thing, the parochial Holy week activities. I have mass services and some song choreographing along with my two sisters and my choirmate to the parochial kids on my uncle's parish.

Lastly, house chores... This can't be ignored...

Hope to accomplish these things along with my other planned vacation stuffs...

My Cyst Removal's Done

I went on a medical operation about an hour ago to remove a cyst on my back and it went well. I was just talking with surgeons and assistants while the operation's on going. Then few minute later, I saw the removed cyst on the tray with some equipment. On what I heard, one equipment there was called iris by the doctor. Anyways... The cyst is that what I saw is a white with red thingy which is somewhat hard when touched. Well... Good thing the cyst was removed. :p

4 People That Inspires Me

I wanna share these people that boosts my well being to be the best of I am again. I call them the "3AM"... 3 People whose names start with letter A and one starts with M.

First "A"

That first person is seem to be a nerd like me. But the difference, he doesn't go panic like I do. He's always at his cool side whatever the situation is. Talented like me. But another difference is he truly works hard unlike me. He even make his own income for his schooling, which I admired a lot. I always wish that I could bring back my old attitude so that I could do things like he does. Another which I also want to be like him is the attitude of being not intimidated at all cost. I should not be thinking of what other people think too much.

Second "A"

That person is one of the most important people in my life. The half-part of my heart. My future groom as everybody says. Although he always teases me even I'm depressed, he still gives me boost to be at myself again. He teaches me to be strong at all cost. Even though my parents are somewhat dislike him, he's still doing his best to prove someday that he's worth to be my man.

Third "A"

Another important guy of my life. The family's breadwinner. Even though I always disappoint him because of my hardheadedness, I'm still doing my best to prove that I give importance to them. I wanna fulfill the goals that they want for me and then next I will be the one who will be giving their needs, along with my younger sisters. I want them to feel that after all what I did I can make them proud by finishing my studies, having a fine job, steady living and happy life.

The One and Only "M"

An important woman who always gets mad at me even without reason. But I understand. I do think she's just like me who can think of things that might actually happen. She just think of a thing and then she makes assumptions that we actually or we will actually do it even we are not. But still I understand, she's just concerned of will I become. Even though I'm almost over fed of her lectures, I appreciate that she does it. Because of it, I won't be striving hard to correct my errors. Thanks to her she's still there for me and my sisters even though she had enough of giving lectures.