Balloons in My Speechless Mind: November 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

bLizZ for Today

Got pinched by the spice of Crackling but it tastes good.
Morning sunshine... Love it!
Messed hair due ~ but in style...
I love my e51 and my china phone
Feeling relax
New shoes and umbrella ~ kampai!
Lovin' life!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Fun with "Plants vs. Aliens"

While chillin' out with the time since that our instructor didn't come to class due to a faculty meeting, we are spending the screaming hours in watching our classmate playing "Plants vs. Aliens".

We are screaming here with excitement when the chaos in game come. Even boys he do scream with excitement and thrill.

The fun thing is that it's fun playing with friends. It's more exciting and enjoyable.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Too Busy

This is a dreadfully busy week...

No parents for about a week, temporary freedom is be took opportunity. But too much loads to take.

Need to maintain house keepings. Always late for the first subject due to house tasks. Not enough rest from 7am-9pm classes. Almost no time for myself. But it's okay. It's a part of responsibility need to fulfill. Time management, self-disciple and good decision making will make magic.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Annoying... So Incondsiderate.

What is so not annoying when someone asks you if you speak German then you'll say no and then that person will still talk to you in a language that you said you don't understand. Then spam you messages which you don't understand. Then saying that you're busy and still spamming you messages. So inconsiderate.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Finally Lose Interest

After my dad's smashing parent's speech, after my laptop has been taken away, after my parents slap me on my face for several time, after I cried like there's no tomorrow... Finally... I lost my interest to play RF Online.

After few days of being in my gloomy days, it turned out like that. I dunno why... Maybe it's just I wanna focus myself on GFX, studying programming and web developement and other stuff. But I still wanna go online on RF because I wanna make bondings with my friends even only via cyberspace.

I'm thinking if Aion will bring back the vigor I lost in playing video games, especially MMORPG. I'm actually downloading it right now.

Well... I do think this is a blessing in disguise. I said before, to myself, that I wanna focus more on my goals... And here it is... Losing interest on video games, more interest on pursuing the real time goals.

Getting the real time goals, more fun will be gained for myself.

But I hope, my parents will accept those friends I made in cyberspace. I hope they'll know them well and realize that they are good people. Then everything will be fine now... I hope...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Just An Update

Ooh... I am so sleepy right now but I still have to stay awake to finish my tasks piled on my notepad. Well... I have to get things done before mom goes to Masbate to be with dad... hmmm... I should rather say have to get most of things done.

Anyways. I think I'm doing great on my personal development scheme, with the help of Vanni's advices. I'm starting to have more confidence on to my self.

Well... Gotta finish other stuff... Ja' ne!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A Friend who Made Me Realized About How My Parents Really Care About Me

Recently, my dad just found the video of my EB with some Recklezz guild members and he got really mad, even on to my mom. He told me that time to stop playing RF.

On the next day, at night, I was chatting. Dad saw me and asked, "Who are you chatting with?". I said, "RF players". Then he asked again, "What is that?", pertaining to the picture I am checking. I said, "picture of a receipt that my friend is asking me to edit". Then he started to fire up that time. He walked out of the room and went back again with the flame on me. Then heat started burst up.

Well... My dad is really mad because of me having a connection and befriending unknown people through online game. He is mad because he believes that those people I'm befriending in the cyber world are up into something not good for me. I tried to somewhat contradict what my dad is thinking but I made him more fired up. I was like helpless that time because I can't explain my side very well vocally since I'm not that vocal if I have some problem within me. I just take a quiet time then cry eventually. I felt so misjudged that time... (I don't wanna tell further details about that...)... Anyways... I'm so mad because even chat, he prohibits it. I understand him but the thing is it only chat. But I can't blame him... I did several disappointing things to him like having a boyfriend without them knowing at the first place, going on to an EB with all boys group and many more... Well... I know people will misjudge me of being a cheap girl with this thing. But, if those people will look on the deeper side, I'm just after friendship and socializing which is I somewhat looking for. But still, I'm a girl, I need to act decently.

Well... I was so sad after what happened... Depressed and always in bad mood. Then good thing I had a chance to talk with someone called "Arcariuz" aka... Vanni...

I told the situation I'm in right now and how I feel about it.

The good thing he did to me is to make me realize about somethings...

He told some stories of his life which somewhat made me cry. His stories are mostly similar to mine.

With his stories he made me realized about how my parents really care about me.

He has the eldest from his siblings, like me. He was also a stubborn kid, like me. But things changed after an accident happened. He realized that even you have plenty of pals to be with, you will only come to some certain people in times of chaos... Your family. And that's he wants to tell me. My dad, and also my mom, are mad at me because they are concern about me. They just want me to be safe and be on the right path. They can't be blamed if they treat me like that because it's for my good sake.

After the thing happened between me and my dad, I was like limited and being mostly monitored to do somethings which is the same thing happened with my friend. The thing he told me is, things will get better just prove and show them that I'm not like what they think. I just have to balance things out. Make them happy and I can enjoy more things at the end.

To my parents... I admit I'm mad due to what happened but I know that those people I'm befriending are good. I'm not siding to them but I do feel and know that they are good. But you guys can be right... Anyways... I'm sorry to things that I have done. I was just looking for somethings which are missing in my life which I have found on them. I can't blame you if you think like that but you can't blame if I act like this. My whole story is still sealed and I'm still having difficulties on the stories I have inside. Please just give me time, I'm on my changing process. I'm changing for good. Not only for myself, but also for everyone.

Special thanks to "Arcariuz"... Without you... I will not be enlightened like this. Thank you!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Something Mysterious Happened

I was checking my phone for text messages this morning. Then, I have noticed something. I was using a different sim card on my Nokia e51 phone. And I checked my China phone and I found there the sim card which is supposed to be in my Nokia e51 phone. I know that it's impossible for those sim cards to be like that since that I didn't touch my phones after I got home.

I told my parents about this thing and they seem not to believe. Anyways... I think there's a reason why this thing happened.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

bLizZter HighSchool Art Series

Friday, November 13, 2009

Light from Aisle of Darkness

A screenshot from the overpass near at my school. Shot was made by my phone. Then within this picture, it conveys my life point-of-views and my dreams. My point-of-view of light after and within the darkness and the dream of finding happiness despite of the negitivities found on the world I cling on.

The dark aisle with street light without lights on, grilled like walls, trees and some covered area signifies my grief that I'm having due to the sadness that I kept for about 4 years of studying in college. A sadness due to my frustrations, depressions and anxieties with the things that I've done, the chances and opportunities that I have passed. The sun rays with clouds signifies despite of the sorrows I have, there will be happiness after it and the sweetness of life will be more appreciated afterward.

http://blizzter.deviantart.com/art/Light-from-Aisle-of-Darkness-143409764

Check my works on deviantART.

http://blizzter.deviantart.com

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Sadness

How hard it feels
Don't know how to unseal
Very deep inside
A wound don't heal

Mountain of grief
Climbed to its peak
On top of it
Something I seek

Set me free is what I want
Being eased is what I want
Let me feel how to live
I'm so tired being like this

Tears falling, bashful chicks of youth
Now I see the heart full of sorrow
Set me free and let me enjoy what life is

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Morning Sunshine

Today, a new step
For life so sweet
Time to take the pep
Stand from your seat

Now feel it, your morning sunshine
Take the chance to see the new thing within
Shimmer life with love
Feel it and live

Walk on with flowers
Shining sun rays
Go ahead, life showers
Dashing good days

Now feel it your morning sunshine
Take the chance to see the new thing within
Shimmer life with love
Feel it and live

So sweet...
So sweet...
Live...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Story of My Hair Tail

I started to make my hair long when I was in first year of college. I didn't cut my hair for about 2 years and a half. Then on the hair trimming day, I decided to keep some portion of my hair as long as it is. I decided to do that to make a difference out of anybody and to experience a new thing.

During those years that I'm making my hair long until I have this hair tail, I have encountered sorts of negative emotions. Frustrations, failures, anxieties, depressions, insecurities, guilt, annoyances, hopelessness, shame and many more.

In those times,I do felt so hard in my life. I lost my interest on the things that I usually do like singing, drawing, playing piano and many more. I was so intimidated by some people who just told me that I don't piano good. Then after that, I got discouraged on to myself and to most things that I do. I always think that I'm not good at everything. Even the achievements I acquired before, I think like I don't deserve those. I think that I got it because no one else to get it. So no choice, I'll be the one who's getting it. I always feel unsure that times. I think, I feel that I'm always wrongs and being criticized.

I got carried away with my emotions. I lost a large portion of trust to myself and affected my school performance, attitude, behavior and much more. One result, failure at school. But after that failure, I was awaken. I realized that I must not be intimidated by the other people around me because they don't control my life, I am. I must not be paying too much attention to them. So, I decided to color up my hair tail different from my usual hair color as a sign of change, reborn of my self. The me who always dream, determined, optimistic, courageous, bright and etc... I'm bringing back the old me. I'll fight for myself, the dignity I lost.

I color up my hair tail to be look like a mystic. Mystic, a class in Rising Force online that uses magic to fight as their specialty. I wanna be look like mystic because I wanna feel the magic within me. The magic which are the skills, knowledge and other things I have that I must appreciate.

I must believe in myself that I can do things really good. With the hair tail I have, this will be my symbol of my struggle that I have to bring the bliss back to myself.

Swimming Party at the RiverView

Last November 8, we had a family swimming at the RiverView. We had fun there. Me and family doing swimming together, isn't that great? lol

Anyways... we swim and swam... Eat and drink... And even made a swim dance while being watched by other people in the resort. What a LOL... hehehe.... (I'm gonna upload it later after editations.) Then I have noticed that my cough seemed to be cured. Hehehe... Swimming is helpful for providing benifits for the cardio.

Anyways... Here's the photo albums link for the swimming... Can't say things anymore... Pictures will just tell... LOL

http://blizzter.multiply.com/photos/album/26/Swimming_Party_ar_RiverView_11-08-09

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Checking some Mobile Twitter Applications

Since I'm so into Twitters these days since I love telling people what's happening on my everyday life, I searched Google for mobile Twitter application to use with my phone for free.

TinyTwitter

http://www.tinytwitter.com/

TinyTwitter is kinda slow on the startup. It's has this startup message which stays for 5 seconds or something for it goes to your twitter profile home page. Even on the functions you choose there, there are still loading message which stays for several seconds before you can do the functions you desired to do. It's kinda hassle and slow though.

Twim

http://www.substanceofcode.com/software/mobile-twitter-client-twim/

Twim is kinda better than TinyTwitter at startup. Faster than it, that's what I mean. You can see the recent tweets after the startup. But the thing which is kinda confusing there is the tab bar above which you will be choosing some functions like archives, replies, home, direct, favorites, following and public. If you will see it, it's like tag of the elements on the Periodic Table. Then there is a hidden function (not hidden actually, since a common button like send button is used for this hidden function) which you will see the functions like update status, send media, reload tweets and many more.

Twibble

http://www.twibble.de/

You will see twibble is like malfunctioned on startup since that after its logo, you will just see an indigo colored interface with almost nothing there. But the twitter homepage will load up afterwards. Options there has the shortkeys stated on every functions there.

These applications were used on Nokia e51 with a WiFi connection and still be evaluated with GPRS or WAP connection.

Follow bLizZter at Twitter

Follow me at Twitter
http://twitter.com/bLizZter

eBuddy Web and Mobile Messenger

eBuddy is an online messenger for MSN, Yahoo, Gtalk, Facebook, ICQ, MySpace and AIM (AOL). Whether at home, school, work or traveling; with eBuddy chatting everywhere anytime is possible. eBuddy is available as a web based and mobile version. eBuddy provides instant messaging on every computer, even on some supported mobile phones!

I have been using this eBuddy mobile messenger since I got my Nokia e51 last March 22, 2009 then I'm also using the eBuddy Web-based Messenger whenever I'm at class since that Yahoo Messenger and Window Live Messenger is impossible to be connected in school.

eBuddy is so cool since that I'm always connected with my online friends whenever go with just the click of my phone or computer. With eBuddy mobile messenger; you can set you own avatar by taking a picture of yourself, you can send picture to your online friend by taking a picture you want to send, you can join group chat, you can set your customized status message, you can login to your accounts in Yahoo Messenger, MSN, ISQ, FaceBook, GoogleTalk, MySpace & AOL and you can choose the color you like for eBuddy mobile messenger interface. Then with eBuddy web-based messenger; you can customize your message text style, you can upload your own avatar, you can also set your customized message, you can also join group chat, you can login to your accounts in Yahoo Messenger, MSN, ISQ, FaceBook, GoogleTalk, MySpace & AOL and you can use webcam.

You can visit eBuddy site by clicking the link below to see the features that the eBuddy will give.
http://www.ebuddy.com

Get eBuddy and experience it!

Friday, November 6, 2009

MyLot User Profile

myLot User Profile

Project No. 1: Accomplished!

Yey! I finally finished the part 1 of my project. Yey! My two blouses can do have their pair now! ~Sugoi!

I have now clothe to wear without money being spent. Just time, effort and available resources here at home. Sugoi!!!

Then... Next... I need to think of design for my skirt. weeee...

~I'm lovin' Zagu already!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Mix and Match Principle for Clothing

My uncle gave me, my mom and my sisters these pretty blouses. My sisters and my mom mostly don't want these blouses because they see it unpretty but they're indeed nice and I can wear them good.

Some clothes can look beautiful (even if you see it not) by making some mix and match principle. Comparing clothes and see what will look good. This kind of principle can save your money from buying new clothes.

I'm a kind of girl who does use second hand things. I just don't want to spend money if I see something still can be use if it's still usable. That applies on clothing. I'll wear second hand clothes or even clothes made from old clothes.

Mix and match principle does gives many benefits. You can save money, you can spend less space to be consumed for clothes, you can practice creativity, you can save trees and others things for making new clothes and many more. This can also help you to be a very productive and resourceful person. Especially for the occurrence of the financial crisis, this would be a help.

Ooh weee! Pizza Cone!

This is a continuation of the blog for yesterday... Since I was so sleepy and tired to add more blogs yesterday.

Anyways... Me and my sister, Dioshel, went to this stall to buy something to eat while for our dinner to be served in Tokyo Tokyo since we are so hungry already. We ordered this munchies called Pizza Cone ~ Pizza in a Cone! And it's so YUMMY! I just eat it even though it's still hot from the heating machine thingy. Anyways... It's so delicious! And I also had a thought that this will be also a good business. ooh la la~! Sugoi ne~!

~bLizZter^^

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

"Design Your Tee" Business

I found an idea for our family business. This "Design Your Tee" stuff is a good one. It's quite easy to do. You will have to print some images you like to put in your tee on a paper called "T-Shirt Transfer Paper". Then the printed image will be printed on the tee by pressing it using a hot compress, or iron can even be used to this. Then after that, voila! You will have your own customized tee.

I wonder what can I do with these...

I was thinking... I found these old clothes on my closet and I thought that instead of giving this away, I should make new clothes from this stuff... I need some inspiration and design... lol...

~bLizZter^^

The Darkness of bLizZter

I am dark, goth, emo and weird... LOL...

This is what will the Future Engineer looks like

This is what will the future engineer looks like...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I Look Like a Guy

I look like a guy here... rofl... But look at the tail hair... weee... blonde! Next time, I'll color my hair red Excited!

~bLizZter^^

My First Batch of Video Messages

My First Nail Art

Here... While the video processing, I did the nail art and here's the result. Although kinda novice to see but I'm glad that I made it. An achievement for me! Kampai!

Credits for http://learnnailart.com/ for teaching me to do this nail art and also to Friedia Niimura for making me inspired.

Look! The floor (rather my work place) is messy. LOL

~bLizZter^^

Munchies while Video Editing

I'm currently editing some videos and I got hungry...